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Life of Lu 24/08/2017

Do you ever have that annoying situation where you are exhausted but for the life of you, you can't sleep, as you have ten thousand thoughts flying through your mind? That is me, right now, when I have to be up in 6 hours for work. Ace.

Today was a roller coaster day, emotionally.

The positive is that I had my weigh in and I have now lost 12 pounds and 17 1/2 inches off my body. Isn't that insane?

The negative was that I had a really bad visit at work that has hit me harder than expected as the evening has worn on.

I am tired. Really tired. I hit my hours for the week on Wednesday with three full days still to work. That is not helping.

Those who know me or at least have worked with me know that I give 100% to my job.
Were I mathematically challenged I would say that I give 110% on the great days.
Today, that went unnoticed.
It was quite disheartening.
Deflating even.

Tonight my mind is dancing around the same thought.

I have revolved my life around my job.
I live in Aberdeen because of my job.
It is honestly the only reason I am here.

My thought?

'What the fuck am I doing in Aberdeen and is it really worth it?'

It has been there since about 7pm and it hasn't left.  In a business where resilience is one of our key assets as managers, I am beginning to wonder exactly how resilient I need to be? Again, is it worth it?

Louise of a couple of weeks ago would have tanked a bottle of wine and had a wee cry.
Louise of today drank some green tea and watched a film with her house guest.
That is a plus of the day.
Every cloud has a silver lining.

Unfortunately, as I thought back over my day, and over the past few months I have noticed that the silver lining is starting to get very faint indeed.

Anyhoo, I must go to sleep. I needed to write it to get it out of my head.

Until the next time...

Lu x


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