November reflections

Today 11 years ago, was the last time I saw my sister.

I normally don't remember this date very much as her anniversary is so soon but for some reason it stuck in my head today.

The memory got me thinking about the usual things I think about in November

-The brevity of life

-The apparent lack of meaning of life

-My year gone by

-My year to come

This year, my feelings on life have been pretty different to the past few years.

I swore that I would make 2015 my year.

There are many things that I haven't done in 2015 but many things I have.

I have most definitely not managed a bikini body BUT I did fix my teeth.

I may not have managed a move to Glasgow BUT I did move to Aberdeen

I may not have found the man to tame me BUT I have made some amazing friendships.

(And if we are honest, it is doubtful I shall ever be tamed)

If this year has thought me anything, it has been that you can't predict life.

So many things have caught me off guard this year.

-Moving to Aberdeen

-Learning about Beaufest from the real life Beau

-Sharing a flat with Craig and Aberdeen Steve

-Making the most unnatural decision of my life, and ending a toxic relationship

But each of these things has been a wonderful experience.

Older friendships have solidified. Some have fizzled.

Some family relationships have deteriorated, others have grown beyond expectation.

This year has been a great year.

There is still a month left.

I am optimistic that it is going to get better.

As early as it is to say it,

I am spending New Years/Hogmanay in Glasgow with my pal, Paul and his lovely missus.

It feels rather fitting that this is where I will be for the turn of the year as Glasgow has featured so much in my life this past year and hopefully will continue to feature as much irrespective of what the future holds.

My pondering has arrived to this conclusion.

-Life is short.

-Life is what you make it.

-The past year has been a roller coaster year but a good one.

-Next year will be even better.

Comments

Ah November. You have returned.

I woke up this morning with a dullness in my heart that I normally don't have in the morning.
On my mornings allocated to sleep in I resemble a sloth blissfully unaware of life in a cocoon, but on a normal morning I wake up with a bit of a bounce. I start my day with a bit of shower time karaoke. I dance around the bedroom as I get dressed for the day. I have a great time. ( Jeez, as I write this I suddenly appreciate Stuart's morning patience a little bit more! Ha!) Anyway, the point being, despite a very early bed time last night I woke up a wee bit deflated.

Then I remembered that my old nemesis November has returned.
I did a quick calculation. Marguerite would be 32 next week.
32! Being 32 was one of my favourite times.
Another quick calculation, Marguerite will be gone 15 years this month. 15 years. 2 more years and she will be gone as long as she was with us.
Every November is a little bit easier than the last. Of course it is. Time is a wonderful healer.
But every cal…

Turning 28.

Well. It happened. I turned 28. You know, ignoring a manic depression which lasted all of 20 minutes, I'm pretty ok with it. Rather than shy away from the fact that 30 is just around the corner, I've decided to confront it. Head on. "How?" I hear you ask. Well I have decided to celebrate the final years of being a twenty-something by embarking on a '30 things to do before I'm 30' challenge. I've been working on it for weeks. My friends here in Edinburgh have been really encouraging and I think together we have compiled a pretty mega list. Here we go (in no particular order)
1)Read the BBC top 100 books
2)Bungee jump (I should mention here I'm afraid of heights)
3)Go zorbing
4)Learn a new language
5)Visit the Sistine Chapel
6)Make a quilt (I've always wanted to. I blame Winona Ryder)
7)Visit Tiffani in Utah
8)Parachute Jump with Agata

9)Raise money for charity
10)Do the Great Scottish Run (ugh. The idea pains me.)
11)Sell something I've created
12) Publish somet…

2020

I have started this blog post four times now.
I think that is a new record for my procrastination.
I didn't do a New Year blog, and my previous versions of this were a look back on 2019.
I'll be very honest, I don't want to look back on 2019.
I want to put it in a box, and seal it away forever.

There were some fabulous moments. Of course there were! I got engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever known. I witnessed the weddings of some of my best friends. Babies were born. There was an abundance of soft play, cuddles and karaoke.

For me, 2019 will mostly remind me of being ill. It was a huge part of the year. The worry consumed me for the majority of the latter half. I now know more about hypertension, blood pressure, kidney function and kidney failure than I ever thought necessary.

It sucks being ill. It sucks knowing that you have an illness that will never go away. It doesn't feel fair. If I am very honest with myself I went into a little bit of a pity pit for a w…

Life of Lu

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