A fresh start... how exciting!!

I have had a feeling for a wee while that I need a fresh start.

It is a romantic notion, the idea that we can run away from our sins of the past and start a new, blemish free existence. Alas, it is not a feasible notion unless you decide to cut off contact from everyone that you love and adore. That is not a decision I could ever make. I have too many wonderful people in my life. Blemishes and all, I am starting afresh.

I have been thinking, quite sternly about my life and where I am and where I want to be.

While there are many things that I have achieved that I am deeply proud of, there are also many things that I have done that I am ashamed and embarrassed about.

I think perhaps this move to Aberdeen happened for a reason.

Despite a howler of a first night in the Deen,

I don't want to have that lifestyle any more.

Perhaps Glasgow would have been the wrong place for me right now.

Personally, rather than professionally.

Very dramatic, isn't it?

I'm 31. I'm not old but I'm not particularly young either.

I spoke previously about the grand plan of 34.

Well, now is the time to get those plans in gear.

Cop on to myself

Take care of myself

Have my wits about me

Learn to let go of the past and focus on the future. MY future.

None of us know what the future holds, but my gut instinct tells me that my detour to Aberdeen is going to be more life changing more than I can possibly imagine.

All I can say, is watch this space. Interesting things always happen on the road less travelled...

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Turning 28.

Well. It happened. I turned 28. You know, ignoring a manic depression which lasted all of 20 minutes, I'm pretty ok with it. Rather than shy away from the fact that 30 is just around the corner, I've decided to confront it. Head on. "How?" I hear you ask. Well I have decided to celebrate the final years of being a twenty-something by embarking on a '30 things to do before I'm 30' challenge. I've been working on it for weeks. My friends here in Edinburgh have been really encouraging and I think together we have compiled a pretty mega list. Here we go (in no particular order) 1)Read the BBC top 100 books 2)Bungee jump (I should mention here I'm afraid of heights) 3)Go zorbing 4)Learn a new language 5)Visit the Sistine Chapel 6)Make a quilt (I've always wanted to. I blame Winona Ryder) 7)Visit Tiffani in Utah 8)Parachute Jump with Agata 9)Raise money for charity 10)Do the Great Scottish Run (ugh. The idea pains me.) 11)Sell something

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Last night, instead of doing my Life of Lu for the week (how bold, never fear, I'll do it after this) I met up with an old friend of mine. It is always nice to meet up with someone who you can just pick up with as if you met them yesterday. Anyhoo, The conversation got very philosophical as can happen after a couple of cold ones and the question came up "what is happiness?" Profound huh? Well we decided that happiness is not a continuous feeling merely something that happens in a moment and we have to ensure that we get plenty of those moments in our lifetime for it to seem happy. Deep I know. This is what we came up with as an answer to What is happiness? -Getting a big hug from someone who puts all their heart into it. -James added the first time his little niece Emma came to sit on his lap for a cuddle (it was the start of a lovely little friendship) -The first time you kiss that person you have dreamt about kissing and it tingles your toes - The moment when you f

2020

I have started this blog post four times now. I think that is a new record for my procrastination. I didn't do a New Year blog, and my previous versions of this were a look back on 2019. I'll be very honest, I don't want to look back on 2019. I want to put it in a box, and seal it away forever. There were some fabulous moments. Of course there were! I got engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever known. I witnessed the weddings of some of my best friends. Babies were born. There was an abundance of soft play, cuddles and karaoke. For me, 2019 will mostly remind me of being ill. It was a huge part of the year. The worry consumed me for the majority of the latter half. I now know more about hypertension, blood pressure, kidney function and kidney failure than I ever thought necessary. It sucks being ill. It sucks knowing that you have an illness that will never go away. It doesn't feel fair. If I am very honest with myself I went into a little bit of a pit

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