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The heart always wins...

I wrote an entry during the week about making a decision that requires either following your heart or your head. It is not a pleasant decision to have to make, and I struggled with it for quite a while.
In the end, my heart won and while I have a lot of work to do to get my plans in motion (after which all will be revealed), I am delighted that I have gone with my decision.

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This is the first time since I booked a one way ticket to Italy in 2007 that I have made a completely selfish decision.
I thought of nobody but me.
Isn't that so obnoxious when you say it out loud?
But that is what I did.
I have reams of paper with pros and cons
Each as valid as the one before it 
For the first time since 2007 I followed my heart not my head.
That was one of the best years of my life
My heart got broken, but I have learnt from the errors of my younger years and have become a rather tenacious 31 year old.

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Since I decided to follow my heart, I have not stopped smiling.
I have so many plans.
I have so many ideas.
I have so much to do!
And all of it is selfish.
It all revolves around me.
All of it is my own self discovery.
I made my decision on my terms and on nobody elses.

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Of course I am beaming. 
Isn't this the kind of opportunity that each of us craves throughout our lives.
I have been given the chance to do it twice now.
To alter my existence based solely on my requirements.
To take the road less travelled if I so wish.

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I honestly have no idea right now what my future holds.
I am petrified
I am exhilarated
I am excited
I am liberated
I am wondering if I am slightly insane.

All I know, is that I will be writing a lot more
I will be smiling a lot more
And twirling. No matter what route my life takes, there will always be twirling.

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Comments

  1. tifsongJune 10, 2015 at 1:39 AM

    I can tell how much joy you have, Lu. And some believe selfishness (in the sense you've described) is the one and only key to happiness. It's about time you thought of YOU. I'm pretty damn glad about it, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LouiseJune 10, 2015 at 11:33 AM

      Awww, thank you Tif! I am very happy with my decision, though it is rather daunting too. I am excited to be drawing a line and starting again. I always said 2015 would be my year. Let's make it happen!

      Delete

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