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My favourite number is 34

Life is a funny wee thing really isn't it.
Forrest Gump said it perfectly with his mamma's 'Life is like a box of chocolates' analogy.
Sometimes, we make decisions that make sense.
They just do.
They can be about our careers, our location, our love life, our physical being, our spiritual being.
There is a plethora of decisions that we make daily, weekly and monthly that will impact us for years.
Then sometimes, just sometimes, you think you have made a decision that is perfect.
It makes sense.
It is easy.
And then life gives you two fingers, says 'Hang on a second here, that isn't how we are going to do things', and all your planning goes topsy turvy.

Is it a bad thing when this happens?
Nah, I don't think so.
It makes you tenacious.
It makes you resilient.
It makes you realise that sometimes you just have to let life take control.
Stop thinking.
Stop over planning.
Just go with the flow.

I had a wee bit of a panic last week.
One of those 'post thirty' panics when you look at everyones lives through blinkers
and look at your own through a microscope. Looking at something that close up is never a good idea.

But then I remembered a very important number that my pal, Richard and I discussed at great length.
34.
And that number calmed me down.
The significance of the number isn't important. It was banter that just became a thing.
But I began thinking about when I turn 34.
It is three years away.
That is quite a while.

Three years ago, I was a team leader in training with the company I am working for.
I was in a relationship that didn't make me happy any more.
I was running away from a past that I didn't want to make my future.
I had no idea where I was going, I just knew where I didn't want to go.

Now, I still have no idea where I am going, but I know where I do want to go
I have progressed well with my employers
I am not in an unhappy relationship. I am not in any relationship. I am learning how to be the best Lou that I can be. And even though it gets lonesome, it is invigorating. There is twirling, laughter, friendships that I could never have dreamed of having three years ago. I need to spend more time with Lou. I need to get better at taking the time to be the best that I can be.
I no longer want to run away. I want to stand my ground, and grow from where I lay my roots.
Dare I say it, I want to maybe even settle down (and that above all else scares the crap out of me).

I won't lie. I was tempted to run back to my ex when times got tough, or the loneliness got too much. But then I remembered that things happen for a reason. You meet someone for a reason. That doesn't mean that they should be there forever. It means that you need to cherish them for when all was well, and wish them well when it is over. That is probably the toughest lesson I've had in the last three years.

But what a huge leap in three years. HUGE.
That is why 34 is such an amazing number.
If I can do what I have done in the past three years, going from such a low place to where I am now, what can I achieve in the next three years starting from a much higher ground?
Richard naughtily reminded me of that horrendous 'tick tock', but time fixes everything.
Sometimes we need to remember that we just have to give time, time.

So life, throw what you fancy in my direction.
Screw up my decisions with your cunning and your complexities.
It will only make me stronger, more determined and more tenacious.
And that will help make me the best Lou that I can be.
Challenge accepted.

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