The poor old 'Life of Lu' has really had an emotional pounding in the past few days.
Though I don't think that I've ever been so grateful to have a way to vent my feelings!
I remember when my sister died, my old english teacher Mary O'Flaherty, gave me a journal and she told me to write my grief out. She knew me well, and she knew that I get embarrassed when I bare my soul to people. I like to keep that stuff to myself but I know that it has to be released too. So I started to write about my emotions and it became the easiest way to clear my mind and ease my aching heart.
That was ten years ago, and I still turn to my pen and paper (or in the world of technology, my blog) when the going gets tough. Though this time I turned to song too...
This week I was particularly teary and irrational. I didn't just cry. I howled.
I made two people cry. (I am the worst!)
I felt alone, and lost and was quite reflective on my life but as is the norm I focused too much on the negatives. I was drowning in my own sorrows (thankfully not drowning them... that would have been counter productive).
Then I realised that I had to cop the feck on.
The only way to break out from such a down cycle is to reflect on the positives.
Focus on the people who were taking time to help.
Thank them.
Look at all the excitement the future may hold (though there is still a bit of debate around that one, I am a woman with too many ideas!)
Life is too short to dwell on the negatives.
That is one lesson that this week has thought me.
You never know when your time is up, so why not enjoy every second that you have?
Celebrate losses as experiences that got you where you are today and made you who you are today.
Smile through the tears and the memories you shared.
I have been stressing over a lot of things workwise lately.
Life is too short for that. Be proactive, not reactive.
I'm returning to my old mantra of 'Feck it or fix it'.
Stop and smell the roses
Listen to the birds
Watch the sun set
Tell your friends you love them.
Thank them for being great.
Beat up anyone who says otherwise.
Wear clothes that make you feel pretty
Sing songs that make you feel good
Jump in puddles when it rains
Though I won't lie.
I say feck it or fix it...
I want to have a love life again
I want someone to rub my hair to help me sleep,
make me tea to help me feel better,
hug me when I need a hug...
but will I admit to my crush that I want him to do it?
Nope, not a hope.
Why?
Because no matter how much better I am with my emotions,
or how much better I am being honest about the fact that I have them,
I'm still too embarrassed to bare my soul to the world
and when I did it this week,
I made two grown men cry......
Happy 5th September folks,
And thank you.
Love,
Lu xx
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