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Life of Lu 24/08/14

This is the maiden blog from my fancy swanky new phone.
I have no idea what autocorrects I will miss or what format it will be in but feck it.... I may as well try to pretend I live in a world of technology again!


The life of Lu has been pretty roller coaster like in the past few weeks. I have gone over some personal highs and lows but thankfully I am now seeing the light and it's glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. 

Something strange happens when you stumble into a new decade. Unaware that it is happening you begin to look at life a bit differently.  You begin to reflect on the decade before, choices you made, lessons you learnt.  You start to appreciate the people in your life a bit more and try to surround yourself with those who give you a little bit of joy and a large amount of laughter. It is laughter that got me out of my little rut.

I have been so lucky since I've moved to Scotland.  I have made some wonderful friends, done ok in my job, surrounded myself at every possible opportunity with kilted men with rolling 'r's. But every now and then you meet people who for some unknown reason affect you a little differently. 

This week has been filled with friends, laughter and a couple of surprises (mam, if you are reading this, I'll be in touch tomorrow to say thanks). This week has just been such a tonic. I have gotten to know (and consequently adore) some friends a lot better. I have started writing again. I have even started listening to music again! 

I was feeling quite lonely and if I'm honest, very sorry for myself. Sometimes despite all my friends here, the loneliness can be overpowering. I guess it is the downside of coming out of a long term relationship.  I miss the intimacy of having someone with me. This week I went for a few drinks with a friend and I don't know when I enjoyed myself so much last. It was so nice to sit and laugh and chat and realise that I'm not weird for feeling how I do. To let myself go and enjoy someone's company completely. 

The big thing that came from this week is how I see myself.  I have spent so long feeling like a failure for mistakes made that I stopped caring about myself.  I've let my weight balloon, I've stopped putting the effort in because I no longer saw the point. I now see the point. I want to do it for me but the profound thought that came from this week is that if I don't love me and care for me then why should I expect anyone else to? 

The next few months are going to about Lu. I plan to finish 2014 with a bang and with a lot of twirling. 

To all my friends who have helped me this week, thank you. You are the ones who have started me on this more personal journey. Xx

Comments

  1. I feel lousy, I haven't been a very good friend lately. I'm sorry you've been feeling this way. I am glad you've had the chance to get out and feel joy again. Sometimes loving yourself and caring for yourself is the hardest thing, and feels nearly impossible. I've been feeling a little like that too. Really I just suck at following through with any goals I have set for myself.

    Let's chat soon. I love you Lu. You're beautiful inside and out. ALSO I've thoroughly enjoyed your snap chats lately. I like to see your face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tif! Don't feel bad! That wasn't the point of what I wrote! I love you too, my fabulous friend xx

      Delete

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