Skip to main content

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

I read the above quote today and it got me thinking.
Who am I?
Am I who I would like to be?
The quote was followed by another quote of his
“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
This also got me thinking about how I have changed in the past few years and if I could would I go back and change it.
I don't think I would.
So let's get to the bottom of it.
Who am I?


When I was in primary school I had a wonderful French teacher called Annie.
She taught us three wonderful phrases that I think answer the question perfectly when you are ten.


Je suis Louise
Je suis une fille
Je suis Irlandaise.


What more does a ten year old need to know about themselves?


Now at the ripe old age of 26 it has evolved slightly.


Yes, I am still Louise
Yes, I am still a girl
and Yes, I am still Irish


but


I am more than that now.
I identify myself with more.


I am ginger. This is something I hated as a child.
I now adore it and wouldn't change it for the world.


I am the girlfriend of a wonderful man.
I guess a follow on from that is that I now understand the value of true love.
I had thought I had found it a few years back.
And to a certain extent I had.
But it was so different.
It was like the practice run that allowed me to recognise when I had gotten it right.
Though I guess you can argue that such recognition comes with age too!


I have my own mind.
I try to follow what is right and avoid what is wrong.


I don't follow any religion.
I don't mind that I don't follow any religion
nor I am I afraid that I don't.
I couldn't have imagined such a thing as a child.
I believe in the good of people.
I believe in my conscience
which coincidently has the word science in it.


I don't think I really believe in the afterlife.
Which puts me in quite a sticky situation
As I have seen some freaky things that without the afterlife make no sense
other than possible insanity on my part.


All of these things make me different to my childhood self.


But I am still the same.
Larger and no doubt bolder.
Not as afraid to speak out but understanding more when to stay quiet.


But it still doesn't answer who in THE WORLD am I?


I know I have my number.
It is on all my tax returns and payslips.


I guess we're just going to have to watch this space.
I plan to return and have an answer to the above question.
Someday.

Comments

  1. tifsongFebruary 23, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    lu,

    you ARE a beautiful person. a wonderful woman. full of spunk and spirit. you ARE everything you say you are. you ARE plainly put, you simply ARE. you're being and doing and breathing and being such a glorious person. you just ARE. lu. and i am so grateful for it.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ah November. You have returned.

I woke up this morning with a dullness in my heart that I normally don't have in the morning.
On my mornings allocated to sleep in I resemble a sloth blissfully unaware of life in a cocoon, but on a normal morning I wake up with a bit of a bounce. I start my day with a bit of shower time karaoke. I dance around the bedroom as I get dressed for the day. I have a great time. ( Jeez, as I write this I suddenly appreciate Stuart's morning patience a little bit more! Ha!)  Anyway, the point being, despite a very early bed time last night I woke up a wee bit deflated.

Then I remembered  that my old nemesis November has returned.
I did a quick calculation. Marguerite would be 32 next week.
32! Being 32 was one of my favourite times.
Another quick calculation, Marguerite will be gone 15 years this month. 15 years. 2 more years and she will be gone as long as she was with us.
Every November is a little bit easier than the last. Of course it is. Time is a wonderful healer.
But every cal…
Post a Comment
Read more

Turning 28.

Well. It happened. I turned 28. You know, ignoring a manic depression which lasted all of 20 minutes, I'm pretty ok with it. Rather than shy away from the fact that 30 is just around the corner, I've decided to confront it. Head on. "How?" I hear you ask. Well I have decided to celebrate the final years of being a twenty-something by embarking on a '30 things to do before I'm 30' challenge. I've been working on it for weeks. My friends here in Edinburgh have been really encouraging and I think together we have compiled a pretty mega list. Here we go (in no particular order)
1)Read the BBC top 100 books
2)Bungee jump (I should mention here I'm afraid of heights)
3)Go zorbing
4)Learn a new language
5)Visit the Sistine Chapel
6)Make a quilt (I've always wanted to. I blame Winona Ryder)
7)Visit Tiffani in Utah
8)Parachute Jump with Agata

9)Raise money for charity
10)Do the Great Scottish Run (ugh. The idea pains me.)
11)Sell something I've created
12) Publish somet…
7 comments
Read more

2020

I have started this blog post four times now.
I think that is a new record for my procrastination.
I didn't do a New Year blog, and my previous versions of this were a look back on 2019.
I'll be very honest, I don't want to look back on 2019.
I want to put it in a box, and seal it away forever.

There were some fabulous moments. Of course there were! I got engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever known. I witnessed the weddings of some of my best friends. Babies were born. There was an abundance of soft play, cuddles and karaoke.

For me, 2019 will mostly remind me of being ill. It was a huge part of the year. The worry consumed me for the majority of the latter half. I now know more about hypertension, blood pressure, kidney function and kidney failure than I ever thought necessary.

It sucks being ill. It sucks knowing that you have an illness that will never go away. It doesn't feel fair. If I am very honest with myself I went into a little bit of a pity pit for a w…
Post a Comment
Read more