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“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

I read the above quote today and it got me thinking.
Who am I?
Am I who I would like to be?
The quote was followed by another quote of his
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then
This also got me thinking about how I have changed in the past few years and if I could would I go back and change it.
I don't think I would.
So let's get to the bottom of it.
Who am I?


When I was in primary school I had a wonderful French teacher called Annie.
She taught us three wonderful phrases that I think answer the question perfectly when you are ten.


Je suis Louise
Je suis une fille
Je suis Irlandaise.


What more does a ten year old need to know about themselves?


Now at the ripe old age of 26 it has evolved slightly.


Yes, I am still Louise
Yes, I am still a girl
and Yes, I am still Irish


but


I am more than that now.
I identify myself with more.


I am ginger. This is something I hated as a child.
I now adore it and wouldn't change it for the world.


I am the girlfriend of a wonderful man.
I guess a follow on from that is that I now understand the value of true love.
I had thought I had found it a few years back.
And to a certain extent I had.
But it was so different.
It was like the practice run that allowed me to recognise when I had gotten it right.
Though I guess you can argue that such recognition comes with age too!


I have my own mind.
I try to follow what is right and avoid what is wrong.


I don't follow any religion.
I don't mind that I don't follow any religion
nor I am I afraid that I don't.
I couldn't have imagined such a thing as a child.
I believe in the good of people.
I believe in my conscience
which coincidently has the word science in it.


I don't think I really believe in the afterlife.
Which puts me in quite a sticky situation
As I have seen some freaky things that without the afterlife make no sense
other than possible insanity on my part.


All of these things make me different to my childhood self.


But I am still the same.
Larger and no doubt bolder.
Not as afraid to speak out but understanding more when to stay quiet.


But it still doesn't answer who in THE WORLD am I?


I know I have my number.
It is on all my tax returns and payslips.


I guess we're just going to have to watch this space.
I plan to return and have an answer to the above question.
Someday.

Comments

  1. lu,

    you ARE a beautiful person. a wonderful woman. full of spunk and spirit. you ARE everything you say you are. you ARE plainly put, you simply ARE. you're being and doing and breathing and being such a glorious person. you just ARE. lu. and i am so grateful for it.

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